5/5 Lindsey P. 6 months ago on Google
The
years
of
searching
for
an
answer
are,
dare
I
say,
over?
For
the
last
20+
years
I’ve
been
searching
for
that
missing
link,
that
secret
that
everyone
with
a
smile
on
their
face
seems
to
know,
but
isn’t
telling
me.
The
grasping
at
-
‘this
must
be
the
solution
that
will
fix
me,
I
feel
it!’
Only
to
be
let
down
by
the
new
exercise,
supplement,
diet,
naturopathic
doctor,
medical
doctor,
various
programs,
mindset
work….
ALL.
THE.
THINGS.
Not
to
say
those
things
don’t
work,
they
just
didn’t
work
for
me.
In
the
last
20
years
I’ve
been
diagnosed
with
depression,
then
depression
+
anxiety,
then
PMDD,
and
everything
I
ever
did
for
all
those
things
always
fell
short.
Inevitably,
I
would
hit
bottom
again,
even
though…I
have
such
an
incredible
life
full
of
experiences,
adventure
and
most
importantly,
true
love
from
a
man
who
does
and
will
do
anything
for
me.
It
is
maddening
to
have
such
a
uniquely
incredible
life,
yet
feel
so
empty
and
lost.
Finally,
last
year
I
got
the
diagnoses
that
ticked
every
box,
that
made
so
much
sense,
that
finally
made
me
feel
a
whole
lot
less
crazy….PTSD.
I
then
began
researching,
understanding
and
seeking
out
support
to
live
with
PTSD,
because
the
truth
is,
there
is
no
cure.
But,
that
doesn’t
mean
that
emptiness
and
despair
are
there
forever.
Fast
forward
several
months
of
trauma
therapy
and
not
feeling
like
I’m
making
enough
progress
and
as
a
last
ditch
effort,
I
decided
to
try
ketamine-assisted
psychotherapy
(KAP)
with
ShaMynds
Healing
Center.
In
this
place
where
I
was
full
of
fear
and
desperation,
telling
these
strangers
‘this
has
to
work,’
I
found
myself.
I
had
this
vision
of
what
a
happy
and
healed
Lindsey
would
be
like,
look
like,
act
like,
live
like,
love
like,
I
wanted
her
so
badly,
so
desperately.
With
the
help
of
Dr.
Ahmad
and
Meg
Lear
I
have
not
only
found
her,
I’ve
gone
beyond
what
I
even
thought
was
possible
in
becoming
the
Lindsey
I
deserve
to
be.
Dr.
Ahmad
and
Meg
are
true
heroes,
I
owe
my
life
to
them,
and
not
only
that,
but
I
found
out
how
to
be
my
own
hero
too
and
that
is
surely
something
to
celebrate.
KAP
with
these
heroes,
a
lot
of
hard
internal
work
and
following
their
specific
guidance
has
helped
me
process
my
trauma,
develop
healthy
coping
skills,
calm
my
nervous
system,
think
differently,
react
differently
or
not
react
at
all.
It
was
the
key
that
unlocked
so
much
that
I
had
buried
into
the
depths
of
my
being.
I
am
enlightened
to
how
amazing
my
life
truly
is
and
for
the
first
time
in
my
life,
I
actually
FEEL
it.
I
feel
what
I
thought
was
impossible.
As
crazy
as
it
feels
to
say
out
loud,
“I
forgive
my
abuser
and
am
grateful
for
the
experiences
that
brought
me
here.”
Regardless
of
how
traumatic
my
experiences
were,
I
would
not
be
who
I
am
now
without
them.
My
deepest
appreciation
goes
to
the
team
at
ShaMynds
for
giving
me
my
life
back,
for
introducing
me
to
myself
and
for
now
being
able
to
live
as
the
best
version
of
myself
that
those
who
are
most
important
to
me,
deserve.
If
you’re
struggling
as
I
was,
I
encourage
you
to
find
a
way
to
do
this.
To
desperately
commit
to
all
the
things
that
are
a
part
of
KAP
and
integration.
You
may
just
save
yourself.
You
may
just
find
yourself.
I
realize
I’ve
shared
something
so
close
and
personal
here
and
that
I’ve
made
myself
vulnerable,
but
I
feel
the
responsibility
to
pay
it
forward,
to
share
about
my
experience.
Maybe
in
doing
so,
someone
else
can
be
saved
too.
And
to
the
person
who
shared
their
experiences
with
me,
‘thank
you.’