1/5 Ryan T. 2 years ago on Google
This
is
without
a
doubt
the
single
most
disappointing
food
experience
I've
ever
had
in
Boulder,
not
just
pizza
but
all
food
I've
ever
put
into
my
mouth
in
all
of
Boulder
County.
I
desperately
wanted
this
to
be
my
new
go-to
spot
as
I
moved
right
down
the
street.
I
noticed
it
was
over
priced,
but
willing
to
pay
extra
for
an
elevated
pizza
experience
close
to
home.
My
girlfriend
was
gone
for
the
night
so
I
settled
in
for
some
smoking,
video
gaming,
and
za
like
a
good
one
night
bachelor
does.
The
stars
were
aligned
for
Audrey
Jane.
I
ordered
a
white
Sam
and
Sam
and
a
red
Spicy
Pig
+
basil
and
mushrooms
with
Sicilian
style
crust
because
delicious.
It
arrived
predicably
hot
and
fast.
That's
precisely
where
my
joy
ended.
I
started
with
the
customized
Spicy
Pig,
opened
the
box
to
find
burnt
crust
and
so
much
grease
it
would
put
a
Jiffy
Lube
to
shame.
Not
like
"I
got
a
pepperoni
pizza"
grease,
but
like
it's
the
main
ingredient.
So
much
grease
it
runs
off
the
edge
of
the
slice
when
you
pick
it
up.
So
much
grease
it
creates
mini
grease
hot
springs
underneath
for
the
pizza
to
soak
in
(see
pic
of
the
back
side)
and
the
toppings
slide
off.
Okay,
man
up!
I
go
for
the
paper
towel
blot
method
determined
to
enjoy
some
grub...I'm
starving
at
this
point.
Here
comes
the
real
treat!
I
get
past
the
charred
taste
to
be
greeted
with
a
crust
with
the
texture
of
well-sunned
cardboard
and
a
flavor
to
match
it.
I
couldn't
even
bite
through
the
crust,
had
to
attack
it
with
a
teeth
tearing
technique
like
a
T-Rex
gnashing
through
a
Jurassic
Park
Jeep.
Sadness
washes
over
The
Dude.
There
will
be
no
enjoyment
derived
from
Audrey
Jane's
tonight.
But
wait,
I
have
a
white
pizza
still!!!
I'll
spare
you
the
superlatives,
it
was
equally
as
bad.
$88.75
for
two
pizzas
is
insane.
Especially
when
I
couldn't
get
through
two
entire
slices.
I
should
have
offered
them
$88
one
dollar
bills
to
grind
up
and
use
for
the
next
guys
toppings.
I've
spent
about
15
minutes
longer
writing
this
review
than
eating
their
pizza.
So
16
minutes
writing
this
review.
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