5/5 Rocking 11 months ago on Google • 99 reviews
My
recent
encounter
with
"Kiwi
Strippers"
strip
club
was
nothing
short
of
a
fruity
fiasco.
If
you're
in
the
mood
for
disappointment
and
a
questionable
experience,
then
this
is
the
place
for
you.
Brace
yourself
for
a
wild
ride
of
absurdity
and
regret.
Let's
start
with
the
staff.
Their
attitude
could
rival
that
of
a
grumpy
kiwi
bird.
The
bartenders
seemed
more
interested
in
peeling
kiwi
fruits
than
serving
customers.
And
don't
get
me
started
on
the
drinks—they
were
about
as
exciting
as
a
glass
of
lukewarm
kiwi
juice.
It
was
a
struggle
to
find
any
enthusiasm
or
professionalism
in
this
place.
Now,
onto
the
dancers.
I
wish
I
could
say
they
had
the
grace
and
allure
of
a
kiwi
bird
soaring
through
the
sky,
but
alas,
that
would
be
a
lie.
Their
moves
were
as
awkward
as
a
kiwi
trying
to
dance
ballet.
I've
seen
more
captivating
performances
at
a
retirement
home
bingo
night.
The
lack
of
talent
was
baffling,
and
it
left
me
questioning
why
I
even
bothered
to
enter
this
fruity
catastrophe.
The
ambiance
of
"Kiwi
Strippers"
was
a
curious
mix
of
tropical
confusion
and
tacky
decor.
The
walls
were
adorned
with
kiwi-themed
murals,
as
if
they
were
trying
to
sell
fruit
rather
than
provide
adult
entertainment.
The
music
was
an
eclectic
playlist
that
included
an
overdose
of
Kiwi
pop
hits—talk
about
torture
for
your
eardrums!
To
make
matters
worse,
the
prices
at
"Kiwi
Strippers"
were
as
steep
as
Mount
Cook.
They
charged
kiwi-sized
fees
for
entry,
drinks,
and
even
a
glimpse
of
the
underwhelming
performances.
It
felt
like
they
were
trying
to
squeeze
every
last
kiwi
dollar
out
of
unsuspecting
patrons.
Save
your
hard-earned
cash
and
invest
it
in
something
more
worthwhile,
like
a
kiwi
farm
tour.
In
conclusion,
"Kiwi
Strippers"
strip
club
is
a
disastrous
blend
of
fruit-themed
disappointment
and
lackluster
entertainment.
Don't
be
fooled
by
the
quirky
name—this
place
is
far
from
exotic
or
enticing.
If
you
have
any
sense
left,
steer
clear
of
this
kiwi-induced
nightmare
and
find
a
more
reputable
establishment
to
satisfy
your
craving
for
adult
entertainment.
5
stars
as
it
was
fun!
