2/5 Joe C. 7 months ago on Google
If
zen
was
dreamt
up
on
a
council
estate
this
is
what
it
would
look
like.
If
you
come
to
the
Lunas
Yoga
and
Spa
resort
for
some,
as
they
say
“slow
travel”
you
might
find
that
you
will
leave
with
your
chakra’s
so
far
misaligned
they
now
resemble
the
pebble
ash
tray
they
say
is
the
local
beach.
On
arrival
expectations
were
high
as
we
thought
after
two
weeks
on
the
road
through
Europe
this
would
be
our
opportunity
to
relax
and
reset
before
the
last
leg
of
or
trip.
Instead
we
found
that
we
would
not
be
staying
in
the
‘yoga
and
spa’
hotel
as
we
thought
but
in
fact
the
3*
family
oriented
hotel
adjacent.
Further
more,
the
double
bed
we
had
booked
might
look
suspiciously
like
two
single
beds,
like
we
were
8
year
old
children
in
boarding
a
school.
We
were
then
told
that
we
could
pay
an
additional
£120
to
“upgrade”
our
room
to
the
spa
side
of
the
hotel
and
get
our
double
bed.
This
made
no
difference
finding
ourselves
transported
back
to
the
1980s
with
the
eras
defining
styling
and
decor.
Our
day
begins
as
you
would
expect
on
your
Yoga
and
relaxation
stay,
with
some
of
the
younger
cohorts
of
yogis
returning
from
what
I
can
only
assume
was
a
late
night
meditation
session
in
the
local
town
at
2.30
am
through
what
I
can
only
assume
is
rice
paper
walls
separating
the
rooms.
We
try
and
return
to
our
slumber
‘zen’ing’
away
the
sounds
of
teenage
vomiting
in
the
adjacent
rooms.
As
the
sun
rises
so
do
we
(but
a
few
hours
behind
the
sun,
it
is
slow
travel
after
all).
We
make
our
way
down
to
breakfast
for
what
we
were
sure
would
be
a
cornucopia
of
nutritious
and
organic
health
foods
as
is
becoming
of
such
a
yoga
positive
establishment.
Instead,
we
were
met
with
the
peace
inspiring
sight
of
a
high
school
cafeteria
of
coughing
children
and
swarming
crowds.
As
for
the
food,
we
nourished
ourselves
on
stale
croissants
and
sweaty
hams.
The
omelettes
were
not
too
bad
though,
if
you
were
willing
to
join
the
half
hour
long
queue
for
it
though.
Undeterred
and
fuelled
on
a
diet
of
pastries
and
fats
we
pulled
on
our
swimming
costumes
for
what
we
were
sure
would
a
relaxing
and
zen
inducing
relax
beside
the
‘adults
only’
pool
to
find
it
under
occupation
by
the
young
adult
community,
insta’
snappers
and
those
who
had
planted
their
proverbial
towel
on
a
sun-lounger
flag
prior
to
first
light
to
stake
their
claim
to
the
limited
sun
lounging
facilities.
At
the
end
of
a
long
and
hot
day
avoiding
the
local
burger
bars,
arcades
and
screaming
drunk
teenagers
along
the
streets
in
town
we
return
to
our
room.
Naturally,
you
would
expect
to
open
the
door
to
that
familiar
fresh
blast
of
air
conditioning
in
such
a
hot
climate?
Well
we
could
only
liken
the
trickle
ambient
of
air
dribbling
out
from
the
AC
vent
to
that
of
being
blown
on
by
an
asthmatic
hamster
through
a
straw
from
a
great
distance.
In
conclusion,
we
leave
the
Lunas
yoga
and
spa
hotel
sweaty,
mildly
sleep
deprived
and
with
our
chakra’s
spread
to
the
far
winds.
We
did
not
find
zen
what
we
did
find
was
a
joyless
exercise
in
depriving
tourists
of
their
money
at
every
opportunity
in
the
midst
of
screaming
children,
rowdy
teenagers
and
rooms.
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