1/5 Wade W. 7 months ago on Google • 3 reviews
Complete
and
utter
dump
If
you
don't
want
to
read
further,
your
takeaway
is
that
it
is
a
monumental
judgemental
error
to
book
this
hotel.
The
Casablanca
experience
starts
with
the
warm
and
fuzzy
feeling
you
get
when
you
check
in
at
a
desk
behind
a
plexiglass
wall.
I
do
give
them
credit
for
setting
the
tone
early.
After
a
long
wait
for
the
slowest
elevator
in
NYC,
you
approach
the
room
with
trepidation
after
your
check
in
experience.
(security
is
nonexistent,
no
card
scan
to
get
in
the
hotel
or
use
the
elevator).
You're
not
prepared
for
what
awaits
you.
The
room
is
very
small,
with
the
bed
taking
up
most
of
the
room.
It
is
apparent
it
hasn't
been
updated
like
ever.
Peeling
wallpaper,
chips
in
the
wall,
stale
smell...just
terrible.
You
resignedly
unpack
(there's
no
closet,
just
a
small
rack
with
old
hangars)
and
think
maybe
a
shower
and
shave
will
perk
you
up.
The
shower
is
dirty,
the
curtain
rod
is
about
to
fall
off,
and
the
water
temp
is
either
scalding
(read
actually
will
burn
your
hand)
or
ice
cold.
You
manage
to
get
the
setting
to
somewhat
tolerable.
The
toilet
paper
is
literally
hanging
off
a
broken
holder....at
this
point
you're
looking
for
the
candid
camera.
I
didn't
know
it
was
possible
to
to
buy
toilet
paper
that
actually
felt
like
sandpaper,
but
they
managed
to
find
it.
And
don't
bother
looking
for
the
hair
dryer,
there
isn't
one.
Well,
let's
get
that
shave
in.
Nothing
prepares
you
for
the
geyser
that
shoots
out
from
under
the
faucet
when
you
turn
it
on.
So
you
try
to
stand
to
the
side
with
towels
on
the
floor
(the
coarse,
old,
small
towels)
to
soak
up
the
water.
There's
more
pressure
for
the
geyser
than
the
faucet,
so
rinsing
the
shaving
cream
off
the
razor
is
impossible.
I
did
learn
how
to
use
the
geyser
for
that,
so
all
was
not
lost.
Maybe
the
bed
isn't
so
bad.
Thin
mattress
that's
uncomfortable
and
probably
20
yaers
old,
thread
bare
sheets,
old,
stained
comforter
(I've
never
seen
one
so
thin)
quickly
disavows
you
of
that
notion.
The
pillows
weren't
much
better.
So
you
have
to
be
either
completely
exhausted
or
drunk
to
fall
asleep.
The
street
noise
does
help
as
a
distraction
though.
Make
sure
to
remember
to
set
your
alarm
on
the
phone,
there's
no
alarm
clock
in
the
room.
You
notice
the
windows
are
covered
with
this
weird
pattern.
Upon
closer
inspection,
you
notice
there's
a
print
they've
taped
to
the
window,
no
doubt
to
discourage
you
from
opening
it.
Undeterred,
I
open
it
to
get
the
full
Csablanca
experience.
Your
view
consists
of
what
looks
like
an
abandoned
building
next
door,
a
homeless
guy
harrasing
passerbys,
a
drug
deal
closing
on
the
corner,
and
a
guy
relieving
himself
under
the
bridge
abuttment.
I
wondered
if
I
paid
extra
to
experience
all
the
area
had
to
offer
at
once.
The
funky
70's
pattern
started
to
look
good.
In
a
dubious
display
of
hoping
for
the
best,
I
asked
them
to
book
me
a
cab.
What
showed
up
was
an
old
Lincoln
town
car
with
a
million
miles,
no
A/C,
and
a
driver
who
didn't
know
Brooklyn.
Great
way
to
start
the
day,
but
at
least
there's
something
to
be
said
for
consistency.
Learn
from
my
mistake
-
sleeping
in
your
car
is
preferable
to
this
abomination.
Under
no
cirumstances
should
you
book
this
hotel,
both
for
your
safety
and
your
sanity.
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