1/5 Charmander M. 5 years ago on Google
I
am
currently
sitting
on
my
bed
–
nose
running
–
wearing
3
pairs
of
socks,
sweat
pants,
and
jeans.
It
is
10
degrees
outside
and
my
heater
doesn’t
work.
This
is
my
fourth
room.
Yes,
fourth.
Room
1
was
disgusting.
Cobwebs
hung
from
ceiling
and
swayed
with
the
cold
air
from
the
heater
in
the
corner
of
the
room
which
was
squealing
mechanically
as
it
failed
to
do
its
job.
Sheets
of
ice
LITERALLY
lined
the
interior
of
the
glass.
The
mattress
was
stained
with
a
dark
red
fluid:
blood?
Bed
bug
excrement?
A
tipped
bottle
of
wine
that
a
previous
guest
used
to
drown
their
sorrows
after
paying
for
a
room
in
which
Bear
Grylls
likely
couldn’t
survive
the
night?
These
things
were
fine.
The
rate
was
manageable
and
I’m
not
a
baby.
Then
8:00
rolls
around
and
GUESS
WHAT
the
TV
doesn’t
work
and
I
miss
America’s
Got
Talent.
Not
only
was
the
remote
missing
but
the
buttons
were
physically
removed
from
the
face
of
the
early
2000s
CRT
television.
I
would
be
impressed
by
the
sheer
tragedy
of
my
situation
but
NOT
WHEN
I’M
MISSING
SUSAN
BOYLE’S
BEAUTIFUL
VOICE.
The
final
straw
had
been
dropped
and
I
went
to
ask
for
a
new
room.
Room
2
looked
okay
at
first.
There
were
fewer
cob
webs
and
the
TV
at
least
came
from
the
past
decade.
I
then
pulled
back
the
sheet
on
the
bed
to
find
massive
dark
red
stains.
Again
I
dealt
with
the
blood
vs
wine
question
but
fortunately
this
room
had
2
beds
and
the
second
didn’t
have
any
obvious
abnormalities.
Most
importantly,
the
heat
was
blasting
across
my
body
making
me
feel
---
well
anything
as
I
finally
got
the
sensation
back
in
my
fingers.
I
poured
myself
a
drink
as
I’m
positive
many
did
before
me
and
collapsed
on
my
bed
while
praying
bed
bugs
weren’t
hiding
in
the
crevices.
Finally!
Comfort.
The
reason
I
am
staying
in
this
hotel
at
all
is
because
I’m
interviewing
nearby
tomorrow
so
I
obviously
need
to
look
my
best.
My
keen
foresight
suggested
that
I
check
the
bathroom
to
ensure
that
the
shower
actually
worked.
I’m
sure
it
comes
to
no
surprise
that
it
didn’t.
One
of
the
handles
didn’t
work
at
all
and
given
my
amazing
luck
it
was
obviously
the
hot
water.
SO
I
asked
for
a
third
room
preferring
not
to
endure
a
cold
shower
tomorrow
morning
and
with
profuse
apologies
was
given
one.
Room
3
isn’t
worth
talking
about
as
the
beds
were
only
half
made
and
it
was
still
clearly
dirty
from
the
previous
guest.
BACK
down
to
the
receptionist
to
get
room
4.
Room
4
is
definitely
the
best
of
the
four.
I
only
found
1
cob
web
dangling
from
the
ceiling.
The
blinds
are
covered
in
splashes
of
a
dried
dark
brown
fluid
that
I
can
neither
understand
nor
place.
Blood?
Reproductive
fluids
of
some
insect?
The
mystery
remains.
My
smoke
detector
is
conveniently
wrapped
in
a
plastic
bag
(hopefully
from
a
previous
guest?)
in
case
I
feel
like
smoking
some
MJ
(which
the
entire
place
reeks
of
BTW).
As
can
likely
be
implied
from
the
beginning
of
this
review,
however,
the
heater
once
again
doesn’t
work
and
I’m
out
of
motivation
to
complain
a
fourth
time.
TL;DR
DO
NOT
STAY
HERE
THE
REVIEWS
ARE
100%
ACCURATE
AND
I
KNOW
THIS
BECAUSE
I
LITERALLY
SAW
4
ROOMS.
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