3/5 Ugo Niccolò Di C. 9 months ago on Google
👍🏿Whenever
I
get
a
package
of
plain
M&Ms,
I
make
it
my
duty
to
continue
the
strength
and
robustness
of
the
candy
as
a
species.
To
this
end,
I
hold
M&M
duels.
Taking
two
candies
between
my
thumb
and
forefinger,
I
apply
pressure,
squeezing
them
together
until
one
of
them
cracks
and
splinters.
That
is
the
"loser,"
and
I
eat
the
inferior
one
immediately.
The
winner
gets
to
go
another
round.
I
have
found
that,
in
general,
the
brown
and
red
M&Ms
are
tougher,
and
the
newer
blue
ones
are
genetically
inferior.
I
have
hypothesized
that
the
blue
M&Ms
as
a
race
cannot
survive
long
in
the
intense
theater
of
competition
that
is
the
modern
candy
and
snack-food
world.
Occasionally
I
will
get
a
mutation,
a
candy
that
is
misshapen,
or
pointier,
or
flatter
than
the
rest.
Almost
invariably
this
proves
to
be
a
weakness,
but
on
very
rare
occasions
it
gives
the
candy
extra
strength.
In
this
way,
the
species
continues
to
adapt
to
its
environment.
When
I
reach
the
end
of
the
pack,
I
am
left
with
one
M&M,
the
strongest
of
the
herd.
Since
it
would
make
no
sense
to
eat
this
one
as
well,
I
pack
it
neatly
in
an
envelope
and
send
it
to
M&M
Mars,
A
Division
of
Mars,
Inc.,
Hackettstown,
NJ
17840-1503
U.S.A.,
along
with
a
3x5
card
reading,
"Please
use
this
M&M
for
breeding
purposes."
This
week
they
wrote
back
to
thank
me,
and
sent
me
a
coupon
for
a
free
1/2
pound
bag
of
plain
M&Ms.
I
consider
this
"grant
money."
I
have
set
aside
the
weekend
for
a
grand
tournament.
From
a
field
of
hundreds,
we
will
discover
the
True
Champion.
There
can
be
only
one.
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