1/5 Oli N. 10 months ago on Google
I
got
food
poisoning
after
eating
here
on
a
car
journey
up
to
the
Lake
District,
where
I
intended
upon
celebrating
my
grandmother’s
80th
birthday,
which
involved
a
meal
out
with
13
family
members,
many
of
whom
I
had
not
seen
in
years,
and
a
party
with
25
family
and
friends.
From
The
‘Good’
Breakfast,
I
purchased
a
sausage
and
bacon
bap,
which
set
me
back
about
£6.99,
as
well
as
a
black
coffee.
Opening
up
the
paper
bag
provided
as
a
receptacle,
I
discovered
that
the
bun
was
so
stale
that
it
was
practically
falling
apart
in
my
hand,
simultaneously
seeming
to
drain
every
drop
of
saliva
from
the
farthest
and
deepest
corners
of
my
mouth.
It
was
as
if
someone
taken
a
vacuum
cleaner
and
sucked
it
all
up.
This
was
not
the
end
of
the
world,
as
the
sausage
was
perhaps
just
below
average,
not
terrible,
certainly
of
a
higher
quality
than
that
of
the
bun,
and
would
have
been
something
of
a
saving
grace
for
this
sickening
sandwich,
if
it
were
not
for
the
bacon,
undercooked
and
consisting
of
at
least
50%
pure
grey
fat,
which
even
the
meagre
appearance
of
was
enough
to
make
one’s
stomach
churn.
Starving
as
I
was,
being
3
hours
into
a
9
hour
drive,
I
forced
myself
to
finish
every
last
bite
of
the
bap,
not
wishing
to
feel
I
had
wasted
£7
just
to
throw
it
away,
but
what
a
mistake
this
was.
It
was
the
only
thing
I
had
eaten
all
of
that
day,
and
after
around
5
hours
of
digestion,
I
began
to
feel
chills
so
terrible
that
it
felt
as
if
my
clothes
had
become
sandpaper,
rubbing
against
my
skin
until
I
was
reduced
to
nothing
but
bone.
I
felt
tired
and
fatigued,
most
likely
a
consequence
of
the
9
hours
spent
travelling
that
day,
so
I
went
to
bed
early.
Lying
in
bed,
I
began
to
feel
a
pain
in
my
gut,
urging
me
to
rush
to
the
toilet
to
relieve
myself,
where
I
just
made
it
in
time
before
an
eruption
of
diarrhoea
was
released.
I
have
not
had
diarrhoea
since
I
was
a
young
boy,
and
those
who
have
experienced
it
will
understand
how
very
unpleasant
it
can
be.
As
the
night
progressed,
my
symptoms
changed:
the
chills
persisting
and
only
getting
worse,
intense
stomach
pain
and
cramps,
migraine-level
headaches,
and
more
explosive
diarrhoea.
The
symptoms
grew
so
bad
that
I
had
to
miss
my
grandmothers
birthday
party
in
favour
of
spending
the
day
on
the
toilet
to
break
any
risk
of
involuntary
defecation,
potentially
causing
damage
to
clothes
or
bedding,
a
tragedy,
as
it
meant
that
I
had
both
wasted
my
time
going
up
and
dissapointed
my
grandmother.
To
anyone
so
much
as
considering
purchasing
sustenance
from
The
Good
Breakfast
next
time
the
pass
through
a
service
station,
I
urge
you
to
starve
yourself
until
you
come
across
a
McDonald’s
or
more
reliable
chain
of
restaurants,
something
which
i
sorely
regretted
not
going
through
with,
for
The
Good
Breakfast
is
simply
the
worst
dining
experience
I
have
ever
had.
