2/5 Mo S. 9 months ago on Google • 111 reviews
Ah,
welcome
to
the
restaurant
where
flexibility
goes
to
die,
and
mediocrity
reigns
supreme.
First
off,
let's
talk
about
their
modern
take
on
'dining
in'—you
can't.
That's
right,
it's
takeaway
only,
so
if
you
were
looking
to
impress
your
date
with
a
sit-down
experience,
best
keep
moving.
Now,
the
staff?
Oh,
they’re
neutral-friendly,
which
is
like
being
friend-zoned
by
a
robot.
Not
cold
enough
to
be
memorable,
but
not
warm
enough
to
bring
any
human
touch
to
the
place.
Let's
talk
customization,
shall
we?
You
like
your
food
a
certain
way?
Well,
tough
cookies.
Here,
the
menu
is
a
scripture
that
shalt
not
be
altered.
If
you
dare
seek
to
swap
out
a
single
ingredient,
be
prepared
to
navigate
their
online
labyrinth,
which
punishes
your
audacity
with
a
50%
markup.
Because,
you
know,
pressing
a
few
extra
buttons
is
back-breaking
labor
that
deserves
financial
compensation.
The
food
is
fresh,
but
let's
be
clear—this
isn't
farm-to-table;
it's
more
like
fridge-to-takeout-box.
And
don't
even
get
me
started
on
the
sauces.
Artisanal?
Hand-crafted?
Nah,
think
more
along
the
lines
of
something
mass-produced
in
a
facility
that's
seen
less
love
than
a
pet
rock.
So,
if
you're
looking
for
an
eating
experience
as
memorable
as
watching
paint
dry,
but
twice
as
expensive,
look
no
further.
They've
perfected
the
art
of
the
mediocre,
but
hey,
at
least
you
can't
dine
in
to
fully
absorb
the
ambiance
of
average.
Cheers!
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