1/5 JB D. 11 months ago on Google
I
ordered
a
steak
and
eggs,
steak
rare,
eggs
over
medium,
with
cottage
fries,
biscuits
and
gravy.
And
coffee.
What
came
to
me
was
Christ's
own
sandal,
stapled
to
a
slab
of
oak
bark.
Or
maybe
it
was
a
roofing
tile.
Or
they
served
me
King
Tut's
mummified
hand.
Whatever
it
was,
it
for
sure
was
not
a
rare
steak.
And
I
tried
to
grin
and
bear
it,
I
really
did.
It
just
defeated
the
knife
they
gave
me;
I
could
barely
cut
all
the
way
through
it!
That
meat
fought
me
like
it
was
still
possessed
by
the
fighting
spirit
of
the
fossilized
crocodile
from
which
it
was
hewn.
So
I
asked
them
to
try
again,
but
they
claimed
it
was
the
last
steak
they
had.
Maybe
it
was
the
first
steak
ever
hacked
off
an
ox
and
preserved
in
layers
of
rock
and
bat
guano
for
a
few
millennia
so
they
could
serve
it
to
me,
I
dunno,
but
it
was
the
last
one
they
had
or
were
willing
to
cook
for
me.
So
I
finished
my
biscuit
and
coffee
---
coffee
which
was
never
refilled
---
and
asked
for
a
modified
check.
Things
got
real
chilly
in
the
Godzilla's
Toenail
We
Call
a
Steak
Corral
there
for
a
minute,
but
they
acceded
and
I
left,
breakfast
ruined
and
maybe
the
idea
of
breakfast
forever
tainted
by
the
memory
of
that
asphalt
meteorite
they
tried
to
pretend
was
a
rare
steak.
EDIT:
Don't
lie
about
your
food,
just
make
it
better.
I
used
some
figurative
language
to
describe
it,
but
that
steak
was
past
well
done.
Grey
to
the
center,
and
there
were
parts
I
literally
---
not
figuratively,
literally
---
could
not
cut
all
the
way
through.
Maligning
reviewers
isn't
going
to
improve
your
product;
learn
how
to
cook
or
hire
somebody
who
can.
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