3/5 Anton E. 6 months ago on Google
One
of
the
weirdest
hotel
experiences
I've
ever
had;
this
place
is
still
in
lockdown-mode.
Upon
arrival,
my
wife
and
I
were
immediately
inundated
by
all
sorts
of
wonky
and
wayward
signs
explaining
the
things
we
are
not
allowed
to
do
at
any
given
moment,
and
while
the
front
doors
were
open,
the
secondary
doors
into
the
actual
hotel
were
locked.
Stuck
in
this
vacant
hotel
purgatory
felt
like
a
cross
between
Willy
Wonka's
chocolate
factory
and
the
Overlook
Hotel
from
'The
Shining'.
After
ringing
the
bell
(as
instructed
by
one
of
the
many
bizarre
signs
posted
all
over
this
lobby),
we
were
greeted
by
a
breathless
woman
who'd
just
run
up
a
flight
of
stairs
to
unlock
the
front
door
for
us.
Explaining
that
she
does
not
work
for
the
hotel
directly,
but
is
a
caterer,
she
gave
us
our
keys
and
some
sort
of
excel
spreadsheet.
The
spreadsheet
in
question
was
columned
by
days
and
rowed
by
breakfast
items;
we
were
to
tick
which
items
we
would
like
and
return
the
form
to
the
eternally-vacant
lobby
by
no
later
than
10pm.
The
woman,
who
was
very
polite
and
clearly
embarrassed
to
be
explaining
this
complicated
Rube
Goldberg-esque
breakfast
ordering
scenario
to
us,
informed
us
that
the
owner
"was
having
a
bit
of
a
break".
I
paused
for
a
moment
before
asking
"a
mental
break?"
while
looking
at
this
spreadsheet,
but
she
gently
corrected
me
that
the
owner
is
in
fact
on
a
holiday...
Oops!
An
easy
mistake
to
make
given
the
circumstances,
wouldn't
you
agree?
Hauling
ourselves
up
three
flights
of
stairs
(not
a
problem
for
us,
but
you
may
want
to
consider
this
in
case
of
mobility
issues),
we
entered
our
room.
Spacious
*enough*
and
pleasant
*enough*,
I
don't
have
much
to
praise
or
complain
about.
The
view
over
Royal
Terrace
road
was
very
pleasant.
Fantastic
location,
only
a
handful
of
minutes
away
from
Holyrood
Palace
and
-
more
importantly
-
Holyrood
Park,
my
wife
and
I
were
left
theorizing
for
our
entire
trip
how
much
better
this
hotel
would
be
if
it
were
run
by
people
who
were
not
on
"a
bit
of
a
break",
especially
one
as
long
and
extended
as
this!
Outside
of
meeting
the
caterer
upon
arriving,
we
never
ran
into
another
single
soul
here
that
was
not
a
fellow
traveller.
And
yes,
we
did
manage
to
hand
in
our
homework
before
10pm
each
night,
waking
to
find
that
(presumably)
Santa
had
come
to
our
door
and
dropped
off
our
requested
breakfasts.
And
honestly,
this
is
where
I'm
torn;
the
price
to
stay
here
is
almost
unbeatable,
but
it's
such
a
bizarre
and
pathetic
little
breakfast
(pre-packaged
fruit
juices,
crackers,
fruits,
etc),
that
it
makes
me
wish
they'd
have
knocked
10
pounds
off
per
night
and
not
even
bother
with
this
service.
At
any
rate,
the
energy
bars
and
juice
boxes
made
for
good
portable
refuelling
on
our
hikes
through
Holyrood
Park
and
the
city
proper.
Leaving
felt
almost
as
bizarre
as
arriving,
as
you
deposit
your
keys
on
a
vacant
table
and
leave
without
seeing
or
speaking
to
anyone,
we
felt
a
bit
like
criminals
fleeing
the
scene
of
a
crime.
But,
considering
this
gorgeous
old
row
house
with
a
fully
stocked
dining
area,
lounge
areas
and
grand
architecture
is
being
used
in
such
an
awkward,
bizarre
way,
I'd
argue
this
is
the
crime
we
were
fleeing
from.
I
hope
for
a
return
to
form
for
this
hotel,
because
older
photos
really
did
make
it
look
like
a
warm,
pleasant
place
to
stay.
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