2/5 jesse c. 1 year ago on Google
In
my
younger
days,
trips
to
Taco
Bell
were
rather
a
rarity,
a
cross-town
splurge
even
back
in
the
days
of
$1.10-gallon
gasoline.
I
spent
my
formative
years
in
SoCal,
where
taco
stands
grace
nearly
every
corner,
semi-formal
sit-down
restaurantes
rival
American
mainstays,
and
where
even
my
own
whitebread
family
had
'Cuca's
night'
every
Tuesday;
(their
chicken
tacos
were
(and
still
are)
literally
addictive:).
But
there
was
always
something
about
Taco
Bell's
Americanized
version
of
Mexican
classics:
burritos/tacos,
but
with
a
strange,
not
quite
Tex-Mex
fusion.
Needless
to
say,
my
teenage
tastebuds
relished
their
Chalupas,
Nachos
Bellgrande,
even
the
Mexican
pizza
on
occasion.
(These
days,
I
make
my
own
Mexican
pizza
with
homemade
dough,
spicy
Italian
sausage,
cilantro,
stewed
tomatoes,
jalapeños
and
pepper
jack.)
Back
to
the
'Taco
Bell'
now
under
consideration...
I
ordered
one
of
their
combos:
including
a
'Crunchwrap
Supreme',
2
Taco
Supremes,
and
a
bean
burrito
with
green
sauce
for
good
measure.
The
service
at
this
particular
establishment
left
much
to
be
desired;
though,
mind
you,
this
Taco
Bell
doubled
as
a
KFC,
which
was
infinitely
more
popular.
I
finished
nearly
2
chapters
of
a
novel
during
my
wait.
Arriving
home,
T-Bell
bag
in
hand,
and
with
the
sun
now
set,
I
assembled
my
platter
including
6
each
of
T-Bell's
mild
and
hot
sauce
packets.
I
threw
on
an
episode
of
'Better
Call
Saul',
one
featuring
the
fictional
cartel,
to
put
me
in
the
mood.
I
chose
the
Taco
Supreme
as
my
appetizer,
and
as
I
unwrapped
it
from
its
paper,
half
the
limp
shell
ended
up
glued
to
its
inedible
sheath.
Back
to
the
kitchen
to
grab
a
fork,
I
doused
the
remains
in
mild
and
hot
sauce
and
took
my
first
bite
of
questionable
beef,
(boiled
in
a
bag).
'Hmm,
well',
I
thought,
'everyone
makes
mistakes
sometimes'.
For
my
2nd
course,
I
chose
the
Crunchwrap
Supreme:
an
octagonal-shaped
package
containing
a
hardshell
tortilla,
more
of
the
bag-beef,
wilted
lettuce,
a
pale-pink
approximation
of
Pico
de
Gallo,
(I
didn't
know
K-Mart
taught
Mexican
cooking
classes),
along
with
a
dollop
of
sour
cream,
all
encased
in
a
toasted
envelope
of
flour
tortilla.
With
the
addition
of
3
mild
and
3
hot
sauce
packets
it
was
edible,
though
the
mayors
of
Tijuana
and
San
Felipe
would
in
no
way
recognize
it
as
Mexican
food.
As
for
the
dessert,
I
delicately
peeled
the
bean
burrito
from
its
sheath,
hoping
to
not
have
to
revisit
the
fork
again,
and
it
was
just
as
I
remembered:
bland
beans,
chopped
onion
overkill
with
a
yarn-sized
length
of
melted,
yellow
cheese
throughout.
By
this
time,
I
was
down
to
only
a
single
pack
each
of
hot
and
mild
sauce,
so
after
bite
#2,
I
retired
the
side.
For
you
teenagers
who've
yet
to
appreciate
the
finer
things
in
life,
for
those
who
still
find
tomatoes
'yucky',
and
for
those
unadventurous
souls
who
write
off
culinary
excellence
simply
due
to
the
names
or
appearances
of
questionable
ingredients,
Taco
Bell
will
definitely
offer
a
comfortable,
nondescript
mouthfeel.
As
for
me,
most
of
my
teenage
preferences
lie
buried
in
boxes
and
bins
alongside
old
yearbooks
and
mixed
tapes.
I'd
provide
pictures
of
my
meal,
but
frankly
I'm
too
ashamed.
Even
when
ordering
at
the
counter,
I
felt
like
saying,
"It's
not
for
me,
it's
for
my
son..."
(Luckily
the
bag
only
displayed
the
bell-logo
on
one-side,
which
I
all
but
glued
to
my
outer
thigh
all
the
way
home.)
So,
Taco
Bell?
Not
even
a
guilty
pleasure.
In-N-Out?
Shhhhh....
