1/5 C L. 1 year ago on Google
How
to
get
a
one
Star
Review.
Step
1:
First,
if
any
of
your
guests
ask
for
water
to
start,
tell
them
that
there
is
no
tap
water,
but
they
can
have
bottles
of
water
for
the
table.
For
extra
low
ratings,
make
sure
to
not
mention
that
the
cost
of
each
bottle
is
7
dollars
(a
whiskey
is
12).
Step
2:
Make
sure
smokers
are
allowed
to
smoke
right
beside
the
entrance,
and
ensure
there's
sufficient
traffic
so
that
everyone's
jacket,
which
should
be
kept
right
by
the
door,
so
that
they
can
really
have
a
mild
cigarette
scent
when
they
get
it
back.
It's
even
more
effective
if
they're
non-smokers.
Step
3:
Take
about
an
hour
to
bring
appetizers
to
the
table,
but
don't
bring
them
all
at
once,
space
them
out
so
the
first
person
gets
there's
and
the
last
person
gets
it
15-20
minutes
later.
Step
4:
Take
another
hour
to
deliver
the
main
course,
after
you've
taken
the
last
appetizer
away.
Step
5:
Never
apologize.
Step
6:
If
there's
an
escalating
issue,
let
your
wait
staff
deal
with
it,
even
if
as
the
manager,
you're
literally
standing
10
meters
away
flirting
with
the
singer
-tell
the
wait
staff
to
inform
the
table
that
you
aren't
coming,
and
that
the
solution
is
to
pay,
and
call
with
a
complaint
to
minimize
the
chance
of
a
bad
online
review
-you
only
want
the
most
dedicated
1-stars
on
Google.
Why
deal
with
an
issue
yourself
when
you
can
throw
your
staff
under
the
table!
Step
7:
Repeat.
Bonus:
Give
periods
of
20
minutes
where
the
waiter
doesn't
come
by
the
table.
For
more
tips
on
getting
1-star
reviews,
check
out
Prima
Luna
on
a
regular
basis
for
all
the
best
ideas.
Once
we
finally
got
the
food,
it
was
pretty
decent
-
so
there's
room
for
deteriorating
standards
there.
7 people found this review helpful 👍