2/5 Jonathan C. 11 months ago on Google
I
regret
to
inform
prospective
patrons
of
my
recent
visit
to
Chopped
Smithfield.
Myself
and
some
of
my
colleagues
decided
to
get
a
salad
around
1.17pm.
I
ordered
the
Thai
chicken
and
lime
noodle
soup
with
anticipation.
The
lady
who
served
me
asked
was
I
dining
in,
to
which
is
said
I
was
and
she
gave
me
a
disposable
wooden
spoon
to
eat
it.
Herein
lies
the
problem.
With
relative
immediacy,
I
realised
that
the
spoon
was
by
no
means
curved.
It
made
knives
jealous.
It
would
have
been
fine
for
shovelling
an
ice
cream
perhaps
but
not
something
so
liquid
as
a
Thai
chicken
and
lime
noodle
soup.
For
a
moment
I’ll
consider
whether
or
not
the
container
played
a
role
in
my
downfall,
but
I’m
not
seeking
a
replacement
of
all
the
containers
in
Chopped
Smithfield.
I’m
not
unreasonable,
a
change
of
all
the
spoons
will
suffice.
I
explained
to
the
lady
behind
the
till
that
the
liquid
soup
simply
rolled
off
this
wooden
spoon
and
asked
for
an
alternative.
She
told
me
she
didn’t
have
any
other
spoons.
I
asked
per
chance
had
she
a
metal
one
in
the
kitchen.
She
said
she
would
ask
her
manager.
She
spoke
with
a
lady
in
a
hat
and
left
the
restaurant
floor
as
I
returned
to
my
contemporaries.
She
returned
with
a
sleeve
of
cardboard
containers;
it
was
unclear
to
me
if
she
had
a
spoon
with
her
at
this
point.
A
moment
passes
and
I
went
to
investigate.
I
took
my
place
in
the
queue.
When
I
got
to
the
top
of
the
queue
the
manager
addresses
me
with
a
“you’re
the
guy
looking
for
a
spoon”.
Aha
so
you
do
know
who
I
am.
But
alas
you
didn’t
come
to
me.
Were
you
hoping
my
inquiry
would
just
quietly
go
away
without
you
having
to
acknowledge
me?
Not
today
I’m
afraid,
I
work
for
the
revenue,
I’m
relentless.
I
explained
my
problem
again
and
the
manager
told
me
she
knows
the
spoons
are
bad
but
could
not
help.
I
asked
again
about
a
spoon
from
the
kitchen,
she
told
me
she
didn’t
have
any.
Per
my
11
years
of
kitchen
experience,
I
immediately
deduced
that
there
was
no
kitchen.
How
would
any
respectable
kitchen
prepare
food
without
basic
cutlery?
Clearly
all
the
food
comes
processed
rather
than
fresh.
And
for
an
outfit
such
as
Chopped
Smithfield
to
hold
themselves
out
as
a
healthy
alternative,
I
shudder.
Or
perhaps
I’m
wrong
and
there
is
a
chef
downstairs
dicing
onions
with
a
tiny
blunt
disposable
wooden
knife.
Okay,
we’re
back
in
the
room.
The
manager
offers
me
three
or
four
of
the
same
spoon
I
already
had.
Do
you
intent
to
compound
matters
for
me?
You
want
me
to
contend
with
numerous
ineffective
spoons?
I
was
aghast.
I
live
by
a
simple
principle:
one
ought
to
provide
appropriate
cutlery
for
the
food
they
sell
you.
Chopped
Smithfield
clearly
have
some
other,
more
robust
philosophy.
I
may
not
return,
and
if
I
do
I
will
steer
clear
of
anything
that
cannot
be
eaten
like
a
caveman.
My
girlfriend
had
complaints
about
there
being
no
kale,
but
that
is
neither
my
circus
nor
my
monkeys.
Regards.
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