1/5 Edvinas M. 7 months ago on Google • 15 reviews
An
Unforgettable
Adventure
in
Filthsville
Hotel
Well,
where
do
I
even
begin
with
my
"stellar"
experience
at
the
Filthsville
Hotel?
If
you're
looking
to
relive
the
thrill
of
childhood
germs
or
experience
a
unique
form
of
torture,
this
place
should
be
at
the
top
of
your
list.
I
stayed
there
recently,
and
boy,
did
it
leave
a
lasting
impression
–
mostly
in
the
form
of
bacteria
and
a
longing
for
a
hazmat
suit.
Upon
arrival,
I
was
greeted
by
a
sight
that
could
only
be
described
as
an
artistic
masterpiece
of
dirt.
It's
like
the
hotel
staff
had
a
competition
to
see
how
much
grime
they
could
cram
into
one
room.
I've
seen
dust
bunnies
doing
the
cha-cha
under
the
bed
that
were
more
lively
than
the
"cleaning"
they
attempted.
I
even
thought
I
saw
a
mold
colony
holding
a
family
reunion
in
the
corner
–
quite
the
social
scene,
I
must
say.
Now,
let's
talk
about
the
stairs.
Ah,
the
stairs.
If
I
wanted
to
work
on
my
mountain-climbing
skills,
I'd
have
gone
to
the
Himalayas.
The
stairs
in
this
hotel
were
so
narrow
and
steep
that
I
half
expected
a
sherpa
to
appear
out
of
nowhere
and
offer
me
some
oxygen.
I
couldn't
decide
whether
I
was
climbing
stairs
or
auditioning
for
a
slapstick
comedy
where
the
main
character
perpetually
stumbles.
And
don't
get
me
started
on
the
shared
bathrooms.
It's
as
if
they
had
a
sign
that
read
"Toilets
and
Showers
of
the
Damned."
I'm
convinced
the
hotel
hired
a
gremlin
as
their
bathroom
attendant
–
only
explanation
for
the
state
of
affairs.
I'd
have
had
a
cleaner
experience
if
I
had
bathed
in
a
swamp.
The
soap
scum
was
so
well-bonded
to
the
tiles
that
I
contemplated
naming
it
after
me.
The
best
part?
Sharing
the
germs
with
fellow
travelers!
It's
like
we
were
all
part
of
a
twisted
microbial
exchange
program.
"Hello,
fellow
victims
of
hygiene
negligence!
Let
us
bond
over
the
trauma
of
communal
grime."
Just
to
make
matters
worse,
you
will
be
greeted
by
a
man
who
will
request
3€
for
every
night
you
stay
per
person.
You
can
just
about
make
out
what
he
says.
Also
don't
expect
memory
foam
mattresses
either.
Sleeping
on
that
metal
bed
transported
me
back
to
the
austerity
of
the
old
USSR
times,
where
even
dreams
had
an
industrial
edge.
In
conclusion,
if
you're
looking
to
experience
life
on
a
microscopic
level,
the
Filthsville
Hotel
is
your
ultimate
destination.
It's
the
kind
of
place
that
makes
you
yearn
for
a
quarantine
just
to
escape
from
the
hotel's
"charm."
I
give
it
zero
stars
and
a
lifetime
supply
of
disinfectant
wipes.
Cheers
to
memories
–
and
possibly
infections
–
that
will
last
a
lifetime!
This
just
slightly
beats
it
better
than
sleeping
outside,
but
next
time
I'll
make
sure
to
bring
a
tent.
12 people found this review helpful 👍